It’s like skating on a vinyl floor.
It’s brutal.
I think we’ve been sold a $56,000 bill of goods.
The fake “ice” at Charles Clark Square was supposed to open Saturday - more than a third of the way through winter, as the temperature plunged again to the minus 20s with the wind chill. The opening had been delayed a month because – get this – there was too much real ice to install the plastic ice. Now, it has been postponed again, apparently because I panned it.
“I have decided to delay the opening of the synthetic ice,” city parks director John Miceli emailed me late Friday. “Some of the comments you offered me this morning were beneficial and as a result I did some further follow-up with the vendor to see if we can reduce the amount of resistance.”
I didn’t like this idea from the start, but Miceli wants people to try it. Then he wants them to call 311 to tell the city what they think. I tried it. This is what I think. I think it would be easier to skate on that slippery floor people are complaining about at the new water park. A bit of hyperbole, but this is like skating on something that’s just not meant for skating. Except it is meant for skating. And we paid $56,000 to … skate on it.
It’s supposed to require 10 per cent to 15 per cent more effort than skating on real ice. All I know is it’s hard, a lot harder. My legs and feet were tired after half a dozen rounds. And I’m a runner. I was starting to sweat. And it was -14, with a wind chill of -24.
It’s good for beginners, said Miceli, because they don’t slip as much. But if they think this is what skating is like, they’ll probably quit. It’s good for training, he said, because it’s a workout. Well, not much of a workout. The only problem with Charles Clark Square was that it was too small. Now, it’s even smaller. The rink used to be 90 feet by 130 feet; now, it’s 70 feet by 90 feet. Besides, people don’t go to Charles Clark Square to work out. They go for the sheer pleasure of gliding on smooth, hard ice on a perfect winter day, when the sun gleams off the rink and the air is crisp. Now the sun gleams off big white plastic rectangles that look like puzzle pieces.
This is definitely not a Hallmark Cards scene. What have you done to Charles Clark Square?
By the way, Miceli, who co-wrote the city council report recommending fake “ice,” followed me, wearing boots. Although staff “reviewed and researched” it, he never tried it before recommending and installing it. He still hasn’t tried it.
Our family has skated at Charles Clark Square every winter, and always on December 24, when the trees are strung with Christmas lights. We bring our kids’ friends, too. After skating, we walk to Ouellette Avenue for hot chocolate and cookies. Charles Clark Square is a nice space, in the middle of Windsor’s Civic Esplanade, between the cenotaph and historic All Saints’ Church (where you can borrow skates) and the grassy, tree-lined corridor that leads to the riverfront.
But this year, in a massive mistiming, there was no skating at Christmas because we were still waiting for the plastic “ice.” So we went to Detroit, skated on its rink at Campus Martius Park and bought hot chocolate at a cafe there. Tunnel toll, parking, admission – chaching! It cost us $50. Merry Christmas.
When there was real ice at Charles Clark Square, it was supposed to be open from mid-November to the end of March. But usually, it was the beginning of December until mid-March because it wasn’t cold enough. Last year, we lost a third of the season because it was too mild. It costs $50-70,000 a year to install and maintain real ice. And the city was facing up to $19,000 in repairs this year. So we’re trying plastic “ice.”
If there comes a time when we can’t have real ice at all, says Miceli, we can still skate. We can skate all summer, he says. An “economic alternative,” stated the council report. “Leading edge polymer design,” “superior fit,” “custom made quality,” states the manufacturer, Synthetic Ice Solutions.
But this is the thing: We’ve sucked all the magic out of Charles Clark Square. As one commentator observed, we’re skating on fake “ice” outside and real ice in our arenas. It’s a mixed-up world. Plastic “ice” – it’s un-Canadian. (Synthetic Ice Solutions is a Canadian company, Miceli interjected.) You have to wax it, like waxing a floor. Frankly, I think you need WD-40. No more Zamboni; you clean it with a mop.
If the ice is soft one day in January, so what? That’s life. I don’t want to skate in July. You’re messing up my seasonal rhythms. And if the planet warms so much that we can’t have real ice at all, we’ll have more to worry about than skating.
This is one taxpayer who’s willing to gamble for a little magic. Bring back real ice.
ajarvis@windsorstar.com or 255-5587. Follow me on Twitter @winstarjarvis.
