Annette Mamo said that before her son, Bryce, died of cancer at age 14, he would often ask if people would forget about him when he was gone.
“At the beginning, we used to say that we were learning to live without Bryce. Now we say that although Bryce was not able to be a cancer survivor, we are expected to be the survivors because we are learning to survive his incredible loss … and to honour his memory and make sure he is remembered,” Mamo told a crowd of nearly 250 gathered for the fourth annual Canadian Mental Health Association Windsor-Essex County branch’s candlelight service for those bereaved by the loss of a child.
“This special night just does that,” said Mamo.
The crowd huddled in the cold drizzle outside the WFCU Centre Sunday night and they walked in solidarity holding lit candles, remembering their lost loved ones.
Colleen Campo, bereavement specialist at CMHA, said a child’s passing is something that most people will never understand because most don’t suffer that loss.
“There is nothing harder in this world than losing your child,” said Campo. “It’s a different loss – it’s a loss of hopes and dreams, it’s a loss of somebody who’s going to take care of you when you’re older, it’s a loss of grandchildren. It’s all those losses.”
Sally Cartier said even though she’s experienced it – having lost her 36-year-old son in March — she still doesn’t quite comprehend the loss.
“I thought I felt my worst pain when I lost my parents, but that didn’t even scratch the surface,” said Cartier. “I still don’t understand it, and I guess you don’t ever understand it, but it’s hard to accept.”
Cartier learned of the candlelight service through the CMHA bereavement group she attends. She said being with others who have experienced the same loss gives her hope.
“You just lose who you are. You lose your purpose,” said Cartier as she began to cry. “You should never see your kid’s name in stone.”
Cartier wiped away tears as she said she’d be thinking of her son’s smile and wishing he were still alive when she held her lit candle alongside so many others she knows feel the same way about their loved ones.
“It’s a terrible way to meet people, but I’m so glad to have them as a part of my life and a part of my healing.”
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Sally Cartier, left, whose son Norman Cartier died at age 36 in March, stands with her granddaughter, Autumn Cartier, who was Norman’s daughter, at the Canadian Mental Health Association Windsor-Essex County Branch’s fourth annual Candlelight Service for those bereaved by loss of a child, at the WFCU Centre, Sunday, Dec. 9, 2012.(DAX MELMER/The Windsor Star)
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A woman lights her candle at the Canadian Mental Health Association Windsor-Essex County Branch’s fourth annual Candlelight Service for those bereaved by loss of a child, at the WFCU Centre, Sunday, Dec. 9, 2012.(DAX MELMER/The Windsor Star)
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Denis Mamo, whose son, Bryce, died of cancer over 3 years ago at the age of 14, lights the first candle at the Canadian Mental Health Association Windsor-Essex County Branch’s fourth annual Candlelight Service for those bereaved by loss of a child, at the WFCU Centre, Sunday, Dec. 9, 2012.(DAX MELMER/The Windsor Star)
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People hold candles while attending the Canadian Mental Health Association Windsor-Essex County Branch’s fourth annual Candlelight Service for those bereaved by loss of a child, at the WFCU Centre, Sunday, Dec. 9, 2012.(DAX MELMER/The Windsor Star)
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